Our Pop Up Cafés were launched in 2019 to offer a friendly, informal place out in the community to pop along and find others who may have been through a similar bereavement.
Since March 2020 we have been running our Virtual Cafes while we are all in lock-down during the Coronavirus crisis.
The purpose of the Good Grief Pop Up Café is to offer an umbrella of support in local communities and raise awareness of our online database which unite bereavement services across the country. Our aim is that those grieving who may feel isolated and alone in their grief will make vital new connections and find new friendships in their local area.
We provide both the bereaved and bereavement specialists, a way to connect with their local communities and by sharing stories, can hopefully help each other find a way forward.
GOOD GRIEF VIRTUAL AND POP UP CAFES
Our Virtual and Pop Up Cafes open regularly both online and in the community.
You are more than welcome to join - please see the details for our virtual Cafes below:
- Wednesdays at 12pm to 1pm is our Lunch Cafe and open for anyone to attend
- Sunday evenings from 6pm to 7pm is our Moving Forward cafes, for those who are a less raw with their grief
- Please email at email@example.com to register for all our Cafes.
All new members will receive our Good Grief Membership Pack and will be notified of updates, news and events throughout the year.
A few notes about our Cafes:
- Our Cafes are open for anyone bereaved, to come together for a social gathering and share your experience with others who are grieving, in a kind, supportive environment.
- Please respect others privacy in the group, by keeping any conversations shared, strictly confidential. We want everyone to feel relaxed and able to talk freely in the Cafe.
We look forward to seeing you soon
Our cafe hosts
I lost my Mum on 8th December 2020. As an only child of a single mother, the loss is immense. My Mum and I were extremely close and shared a unique bond.
Grief is so much more than the person not being with you physically any more and unless you’ve been through it, it’s very difficult to understand and sometimes, people don’t know what to say to you or they become uncomfortable when you try to tell them how you’re feeling. Quite often, you just say you’re “fine” because it’s easier to do that.
Attending the Grief Cafés has made me realise that everyone grieves differently and that there is no set pattern of grief that you have to follow and there is no time limit. The relationship you had with the person you have lost is unique, so your grief for them is unique. Also, nobody says things to try and “fix” your sadness. Everyone just listens and understands and that is so helpful and reassuring. It’s OK to get upset because no-one feels uncomfortable with your tears. It doesn’t make the loss any easier to bear but it just helps to know you’re not alone with all these unfamiliar and upsetting emotions. It also makes you realise that you’re not going mad and that there’s nothing wrong with you...you are just grieving for the person you love.
I still attend the Grief Café which is run on a Wednesday and I now co-host a virtual Grief Café each Sunday from 6 pm to 7 pm. I was so grateful for the help and support that I received that I wanted to give something back. I also know that my Mum would have been so good at hosting a Grief Café: she was a very kind, empathetic and caring person so I feel I am doing this for her as well as for me.
My husband, Miles, died at the age of 50 in May 2019. Nothing prepared me for the shock of his sudden death; it had been caused by his addiction to alcohol. He was in total denial that he had a problem right up until the day he was admitted to hospital. He died just six days later.
I was totally unprepared for the loneliness and isolation – and the stigma - associated with a death caused by addiction. Initial expressions of sympathy at losing my husband at such a young age quickly turned to silence, or worse still, judgemental comments whenever I revealed the reason for his death.
The anger and sadness were over-whelming. I felt lost and alone and did not know where to turn for the support I needed. Good friends tried their best, but they had not been through the experience I had. Then, I discovered The Good Grief Trust and started to attend their Virtual Good Grief Cafés. They provided a safe space for me to be with others, share experiences and be listened to without judgement.
I came to recognise that my grieving process had been complicated: the usual feelings associated with grief were compounded by the mixed emotions I had bottled up over the years of living with someone with an addiction. By being more open about the issues, I have found a means of coping with my loss.
I have been struck by the reluctance of people to talk openly about losing someone through addiction. (And that includes me). I think this is, in part, due to the fear of being judged and a mistaken belief in wider society that addiction is some kind of moral failure.
If you would like to find a safe space to share your experience of losing someone through addiction, somewhere you can talk openly without fear of shame, blame or judgement, then why not come along to the Virtual Café and see if it helps you too.
When my partner Mike died suddenly and unexpectedly, my world changed beyond anything I could have imagined. I can only describe it as like a bomb went off in my head. Mike went on holiday to Mexico and died in the sea. First I heard he was missing so I flew out there to look for him.
Four years later and I have begun to process what happened in February 2017. I have had bereavement counselling which got me through the initial seven months and a year later I had another year of counselling at an amazing LGBT charity in London. And then, I realised I really wanted and needed to speak to other gay people about losing a partner. I had this feeling that talking to other people about their experience and sharing mine with them would help me to heal.
When I began to look for a group online, I was disappointed to realise that there were none. I thought I must be mistaken so I looked harder but found nothing. And then I was introduced to Rach, a friend of a friend who had tragically lost her wife last year to cancer. When we met (with our dogs) and shared our experiences, I instantly felt understood and so much of what Rach shared that day resonated with me and my experience. It is hard to explain the feeling that this connection gave me but I knew it was what I needed.
We both agreed that there was this huge gap in provision for gay people that had been bereaved and decided that if a group did not exist - then we would start our own. So, in the summer of last year - while Coronavirus was temporarily quiet, we set up the LGBTQ Virtual Cafe on zoom.
There is no judgement at the Cafe, just people from our community supporting one and other by listening and sharing (if you feel like you can) and plenty of compassion. It is peer run/led by Rach and me - experts only in our own experience of grief and loss.
If you feel like you want to talk about your experience of loss and grief, join us on a Wednesday evening at 7.30 for a chat and a (bring your own) cup of tea.
My wife Kris, died at the end of November 2019, we had been together for 13 years had two kids, two dogs a lovely home and a life that was tough at times but great and I am so grateful for every minute, hour, week, month, and year we had together both good and bad.
As her full-time carer, it was so hard to see her change physically and mentally, she no longer looked like herself and the onslaught of cancer on your body meant she was there but incrementally not who she had been.
The reality of “anticipatory” grief was a daily slog of sleepless nights and days anxiously waiting for her last breath in surreal discussions with medical staff about when and if to stop meds and at what point would the fragile balance tip and with it the reality of death and an entirely different life.
In the end we were lucky that she died in the quiet calm of an amazing hospice before lockdown but there were no final words or loving gazes just gasping breathes and then the horrifying realisation that she had gone.
What helped me most was finding peer support in the Good grief trust cafes, a place to go and talk, to share and be understood by other people who got it, there was no judgment or explanation needed just a space to go and be with my grief, without having to put on a brave face.
As a Lesbian I was struck by the lack of LGBTQ specific support for those grieving loved ones, so with my amazing friend Pat who also had lost his beloved partner we set up the LGBTQ group as part of the good grief trust cafes. We continue to run these cafes every Wednesday night so please come along and see if it helps you too?
I am running the young person LGBTQ+ cafes and also the Good Grief young person cafes. I started volunteering for the Good Grief Trust a year ago after losing my brother suddenly in 2019. In the firstfew months after my brother passed, I found grief isolating and overwhelming and wanted to talk to other people who were my age and who had been in a similar position.
We understand that this intersectionality can come with a number of challenges which are difficult to explore in heterosexual spaces, such as a misuse of pronouns and dead-naming, isolation from families and general feelings of unease with having to ‘come out’ in new and vulnerable spaces. Whatever the challenges you are facing with grief, we hope the young person LGBTQ+ cafe and the help of peer to peer support, will provide an inclusive space to chat through or just listen with others who have been in similar situations.
Please note we usually have a maximum of 6-8 people attending the cafes in order to create a smaller environment where everyone gets the chance to speak if they choose. We also don’t require those attending the cafes to speak or have their camera on, we know talking about grief can be difficult. Email firstname.lastname@example.org if you have any questions or would like to book a place on our next Zoom cafe.
Hi, my name is Najeeba and I sadly lost my dad to COVID last April 2020. At the same I was struggling with PND and had a 12 week old baby to take care of in lockdown. I couldn't be with my dad when he was sick or when he passed, I couldn't go to the funeral and couldn't even hug my mum and this all had a profound impact on me, but then having to carry on taking care of a tiny baby 24/7 when my whole world fell apart was a living nightmare. Nobody understood how it felt and I felt so alone.
Liz & Tony
My husband Luke was diagnosed with a brain tumour in October 2016, just a few months after we had moved back to Cornwall. It was a glioblastoma, which is considered a terminal diagnosis because of the aggressive nature of the tumour. Luke had the tumour removed in October 2016, underwent radiotherapy and chemotherapy but the tumour returned in September 2018. Luke’s dying process and death was traumatic as we watched him lose his abilities; his memory, his speech, his mobility and everything that made him the man we knew. He died aged 46, dying at home as was his wish, after a brief spell in a hospice to try and manage his pain. But he died in a way he never wanted, without dignity and without choice and this continues to be a painful experience for those who watched him die.
In 2020, we met through online dating! We both feel very fortunate that from the time of Luke and Naomi’s diagnosis, through to their death and our lives going forward, we have received huge support from family and friends and that support network has continued to grow. We discovered the Good Grief Trust together when Tony bought the orange umbrella pins as a gift. It seemed only right that when we decided to open a coffee shop in late 2021, aptly named ‘Wooden Box’, that perhaps we could become a Pop Up Café as we thought we might be able to offer support to people in a similar situation. Liz had already benefited hugely from the support of a widows group.
We went along to a local Good Grief Pop Up cafe to see what it was all about and decided we definitely wanted to do this. We know how important it is to get the right support and want to give something back to the community, to help in some small way. Before Luke’s death, Liz’s dad died in 2011 and again, she was lucky to have great support and kindness from friends and family. But we also know that not everyone is as fortunate or sometimes you just want to speak to someone who is completely removed from the situation but understands grief. We hope to be able to offer this at our Pop Up Cafe in Redruth.
Bringing the Bereaved Community Together
We know that many of you will be struggling and may feel alone and isolated in your grief. These Cafes are a way of meeting others who will understand. Many have been through a recent bereavement, or may have lost someone a while ago and just want to chat and share their grief.
During the pandemic, we launched our weekly Virtual Cafes.
Please join us online on Zoom to connect with those who are bereaved and share stories with others who understand.
These groups are run by the bereaved for the bereaved and offer a place to connect with others who are grieving for peer to peer support.
To register for a Cafe, please email us email@example.com
If anyone is interested in volunteering to host one of our virtual cafes, please email Rhian at Hello@nullthegoodgrieftrust.org for further details.
Thank you for helping to support your community through their grief.
THANKYOU! - Freddie's Wish
We want to send our heartfelt thanks this wonderful charity for their incredibly kind donation of £4,400 to help continue launching new Cafes and for the production of our Good Grief Cards. We are extremely grateful, as this is the second time Freddie's Wish have supported our work. They also donated £10,000 in 2019 to help us launch and drive forward our Pop Up Cafes in the Community.
This donation was emergency funding to help our charity meet the immediate needs of those bereaved during the current Coronavirus crisis.
Freddie’s Wish is a registered charity with love at it’s heart, wanting to help those who have lost a child of any age and offer support and care when needed. This charity has been set up because Charlotte Jolliffe's son, Freddie, was sadly taken from her in a tragic car accident in December 2014.
Please click here to visit their website for more information about their support for bereaved parents.
Our Pop Up Cafes launched in 2018. Here are some of our venues:
- God's Providence House - Newport
- Green Room - Ventor
- Drop-in Community Café - Freshwater
- Monkton Arts and Lounge Coffee Bar - Ryde
- St Mary's Hospital - Newport
We held our first Pop Up Cafe at this fabulous central London Italian indoor outdoor market. Over 20 people came along, with and without their children who were at all different stages of their grief. We ate cake, dunked delicious Italian biscotti and even made pasta together in a brilliant Cookery Class.
It was a relaxed few hours spent in the company of others who 'get it'. The warmth, understanding and empathy everyone had for each other was just really lovely to be part of........we hope you will join us soon x
Do you need to speak to someone now?
24 HOUR SUPPORT LINES
|Samaritans||116 123 (UK)||For anyone at anytime for any reason|
|Childline||0800 1111||Support for 18yrs & under and their relatives|
|Silverline||0800 470 8090||Support for the over 50's|
DAY/EVENING SUPPORT LINES
|Sudden Bereavement Helpline||0800 2600 400||10am and 4pm, Monday to Friday - immediate support|
|National Bereavement Partnership Helpline||0800 448 0800||7am and 10pm for emotional support.|
|Cruse||0808 808 1677||Nationwide bereavement support|
|Cruse Bereavement Care Scotland||0808 802 6161||Mon - Fri 9am-8pm and Sat/Sun 1-4pm|
|Child Bereavement UK||0800 02 88840||Helpline (9 - 5pm)|
|Child Death Helpline||0800 282 986|
0808 800 6019
|Every evening 7-10pm|
Mon/Thurs / Fri - 10am - 1pm
Tues/Wed - 10am - 4pm
|Grief Talk||0808 802 0111||Support for anyone to Grieftalk from any phone for free|
Monday to Friday 9am - 9pm
Have a 1-2-1 CHAT live session with a Grieftalk counsellor
|Bereavement Advice Centre||0800 634 9494||Practical advice (9 - 5pm)|
|Bereavement Trust||0800 435 455||Emotional and practical advice (6 - 10pm)|
|DrugFam||0300 888 3853||Drug and Alcohol addiction |
The helpline line is available between 9am and 9pm seven days a week.
|Sands||0808 164 3332||9.30am - 5.30pm Mon to Fri and 9.30am - 9.30pm Tues and Thurs evenings|
Free confidential helpline for anyone affected by the death of a baby.
|Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide||0300 111 5065||9am-9pm every day|
|Breathing space Scotland Helpline for when it becomes difficult to cope||0800 838587|
Monday to Thursday - 6pm - 2am
Friday 6pm - 6am
|The Compassionate Friends||0345 123 2304|
Open every day 10 am – 4 pm, 7-10 pm
|The Lullaby Trust||0808 802 6868|
Monday - Friday, 10 am – 5 pm
|Marie Curie||0800 090 2309||Open Monday - Friday, 8am – 6pm|
Open Saturday, 11am – 5pm on Saturday
Practical and clinical information and support on all aspects of end of life and bereavement.
|The Greater Manchester Suicide Bereavement Information Service|
|0161 983 0700||Open Monday – Friday, 10am-4pm|
The Good Grief Project-The Good Grief Project offer nuggets of hope and comfort for the newly bereaved
Bereaved Parent Support Day- Support days for anyone who has lost a child at any age
Royal College of Psychiatrists - Information about feelings immediately after a bereavement
Marie Curie Wellbeing Advice- Some practical advice on looking after yourself immediately after the death of a loved one
Sue Ryder Online Community - is an online peer support service where bereaved people can exchange messages, share their feelings and support each other. It is monitored and moderated by Sue Ryder to ensure it remains a safe and supportive environment. It is available to any bereaved person aged 18 or over.
The Grief Garden Path
Julie has written this insightful and heartfelt book from a powerful place. A place that has a true depth of understanding, derived from her lived experience and empathy for those who are affected by the death of someone they love. She offers hope, guidance and a unique way of encouraging us to think about our ‘garden’, our ‘life’, that she believes needs tending with care and regular watering.
I’m Fine, Thanks
A heart-wrenching journey of love, grief and redemption. Chris and Anne are enjoying a loving marriage in the prime of their lives when Anne is diagnosed with a rare and fatal genetic disease. For ten years, Chris and Anne endure this terrible secret alone.
After Anne’s death, Chris, ravaged by crippling grief, realises that his survival depends upon him ridding himself of his stiff upper lip. He must learn to open his heart and cry.
Saved from the depths of misery by life-saving therapy, he discovers a life beyond despair, rekindles his lapsed faith and finds love again.
Losing a son to suicide: A poetic journey through grief
Simply losing a child would have been difficult enough, but once you add suicide tothe equation it can almost seem insurmountable. But it is possible to weather this storm and learn to live again.
Not That Kind of Love
A year after the death of his beloved sister, Wise talks about caring for Clare in her last days, and the blog, now a book, they wrote together
Rowan Williams-This book is hardly a preparation for grief – how could it be. But it is a helpful insight into what grief looks like from inside. That knowledge alone will help you avoid delivering the kind of crass statement, insensitive comment and crushing platitude that – even with the best intention, invariably only makes things worse.
Are You Sad Little Bear?
Rachel Rivett- a beautifully written little book to help explain the death of a grandparent to young children
Grief Diaries: How to Help the Newly Bereaved
Linda Cheldelin Fell-a guide full of useful tips to answer questions about what to say, what to do, and what not to say to someone facing loss.
The Grief Survival Guide: How to navigate loss and all that comes with it
Jeff Brazier-provides guidance and advice to the bereaved from personal experience
The Last Act of Love: The Story of My Brother and His Sister
Cathy Rentzenbrink-. Told after her brother died, aged 16. It’s a story for anyone who has ever watched someone suffer or lost someone they loved or lived through a painful time that left them forever changed. Told with boundless warmth and affection (Amazon)
Beyond Tomorrow- The essential Guide to life after bereavement
Judy Carole Kaufmann-The period following the death of a loved one can be a time of great turmoil. This sensitive book acts as a helpful and supportive road map through the initial period of loss, and through the weeks and months that follow.
Roark McMaster- The story is written and presented in the format of an illustrated story. It is written to provide comfort and hope to parents, siblings, and families that have experienced loss. The book is written by: Daddy, for Mummy. It could be written by any Daddy for any Mummy that has been through this type of trauma. The book has space for a parent to add their child s name and commit the book to his or her memory.
See you Soon:A Mother’s Story of Drugs, Grief and Hope
Phillipa Skinner-This book is a honest and reflective account of a mother’s story as she faces up to and lives through her son’s death from a heroin overdose in 2007. Skinner is writing for those who are bereaved, those seeking to support people who are, and also, more specifically, for people affected by addiction – whether through a family member, friend or a personal struggle.
Life Touches Life: A Mother’s Story of Stillbirth and Healing
Lorraine Ash-Ash discusses the inner changes she faced after the stillbirth of her daughter and delves into spiritual questions that shook her soul. The final message: Epiphanies emerge from the stuff of everyday experience. Hope is here.
Holy Innocents: Grieving for the Death of a Baby
Margaret Sparshott- This book describes the physical and individual development of the newborn; the different stages of bereavement and how they relate to death before, during, and after birth; and ways in which bereaved parents and other members of the family may be supported by friends, and members of the different professions. Special attention is paid to the beliefs of major religions and how they view the spirituality and death of a baby and minister to the bereaved family.
Grief in Young Children- A Handbook for Adults
Atle Dyregov-For years, I have strongly advised adults to read Grief in Children because I believe it is the most sympathetically written and accessible book on the topic. It is the thoughtful distillation of many years’ clinical experience of working with bereaved children and their families
A Beastly Burden
Merel Barends-When I was a teenager, my younger brother took his own life. I never saw it coming.
Twenty years too late, I am figuring out how I could have helped him.
An Empty Chair: Living in the wake of a sibling’s suicide
Sara Swan Miller- too often, the grief and bewilderment of surviving siblings is simply ignored, leaving the bereaved siblings feeling even more abandoned. The accounts of siblings’ experiences in this book are based on interviews with more than thirty people from all over the United States, as well as the author’s own experience of losing a sister to suicide.
History of a Suicide: my sister’s unfinished life
Jill Bialosky-The author presents an account of her sister’s suicide, and the lifelong impact that the suicide has had on her own life and the lives of the other members of her family.
Tips from widows
Jan Robinson-It is like a crib sheet of how to cope; it is as helpful to friends of widows as to the widows themselves, and it is written from experience, which is the bedrock of reliable advice
Thinking Out Loud: Love, Grief and Being Mum and Dad
Rio Ferdinand-after the sudden and tragic loss of his wife Rebecca to cancer. Written to help others through their grief, he shares, openly and honestly, the hard journey he’s on with his three young children and the support and advice that’s getting them through.
Peter Speck and Ian Ainsworth Smith- this book holds a central place within the pastoral literature for carers of the dying or bereaved. Since publication of the first edition, research and new multi-professional approaches to care require more than ever that those in ministry develop a good grasp of current understanding and models of grief
Living with Loss and Grief: Letting Go, Moving on (Overcoming Common Problems)
Julia Tugendhat-Grief and loss come in many different forms, from the searing pain when a loved one dies, to the necessary mourning for lost dreams and changed ideals at different life stages. After loss, people cannot be as they were before, but they can adapt to the changed circumstances and go on from there. This book looks at ways of grieving and the factors which help the grieving process.
Death… And How To Survive It: A unique, practical and uplifting guide to coming to terms with the loss of your partner
Kate Boydell-was widowed at the age of 33. She felt that her life had lost its purpose and she wanted it to end. But she got through it – and so can everyone. In this down-to-earth, practical, insightful and often humorous guide, Kate draws on her own experience of bereavement to offer frank advice on coping with every aspect of the grieving process.
Widow to Widow: Thoughtful, Practical Ideas For Rebuilding Your Life
Genevieve Davis Ginsburg- widow, author, and therapist offers fellow widows-as well as their family and friends-sage advice for coping with the loss of a husband
I’m Grieving as Fast as I Can
Linda Feinberg-A guide for young widows and widowers through the normal grieving proccess that highlights the special circumstances of an untimely death. Young widows and widowers share thoughts and dilemmas about losing a loved one, what to tell young children experiencing a parent’s death, returning to work and dealing with in-laws.
When Bad things Happen in Good bikinis
Helen Bailey-takes her readers with her on her journey through life after the inconceivable loss of her husband – accompanied by her faithful dachshund, Boris. Honest, searing, yet often laugh-out-loud funny, this is a compelling story of a marriage, and a truly life-affirming testament to the power of survival.
Grief is a Thing with Feathers
Max Porter-two young boys face the unbearable sadness of their mother’s sudden death. In this moment of despair they are visited by Crow – antagonist, trickster, healer, babysitter. This sentimental bird is drawn to the grieving family and threatens to stay until they no longer need him
6 Word Lessons on Coping with Grief
Living with Loss- A guide for the recently widowed
Liz Taylor-a survival guide for a widow following her journey to inner peace
The Courage to Grieve
Judy Tatelbaum-expert advice on how to cope with loss and bereavement
The Empty Bed-Bereavement and the Loss of Love
Susan Wallbank- describes the feelings of love and intimacy following the death of her husband
You’ll Get Over It
Virginia Ironside- A very frank observation of grief and loss
The Early Days
David Nuttall, finding support in the early days
The Grief Book
Debbie Moore helps you to understand and manage your grief
Option B by Sheryl Sandberg is a much publicised journey of grief and loss
Julia Samuel, discusses her work as a therapist