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Jane Harris is a psychotherapist and bereavement specialist. Jimmy Edmonds is a photographer and documentary film editor with over 100 credits on TV productions including the BAFTA winning Chosen for Channel 4.

 

Together they run Active Grief Retreats as The Good Grief Project. This is their first book, exploring active and creative responses to grief and how they can help you to survive.

 

Link to 4 minute film
https://thegoodgriefproject.co.uk/our-books/

 

Link to publisher page
https://www.quickthornbooks.com/title-list/when-words-are-not-enough/

Not that Kind of Love, by Clare & Greg Wise

It is more than a year since Clare Wise, sister of the actor Greg Wise, died of cancer. She lived just down the street from the West Hampstead house her brother shares with his wife, Emma Thompson, and their daughter, Gaia. As Greg opens his front door and leads the way into his kitchen, one can see, within minutes, why he was such an indispensable carer to his sister during the last weeks of her life. Today, he has organised elevenses with good coffee and patisserie. As an actor, he is routinely cast as a reprobate (Mountbatten in The Crown a debatable exception). In life, he could not be nicer if he tried. And that’s precisely it: he does not appear to be trying – the charm is not fake. When I ask him how he is feeling about Clare’s death now, his eyes fill.

“I’ve had very few days when I’ve not been actively doing something about Clare, be it probate, sorting out her flat, moving furniture – or just the book.” The book is Not That Kind of Love and is a shared effort, written by Clare and Greg. It is fuelled by wisdom and wisecracks, a story of brotherly, and sisterly, love. Clare was 18 months Greg’s senior (he is 51) and worked for the UK Film Council and as vice president of Universal Pictures. She started a blog in 2013 (although the first lump in her breast was found in 2007) and her take on illness drew a crowd – 96,000 hits (by 2015). No wonder: her style is gallant, funny, self-deprecating. It was not until June 2015 that cancer made its terrible comeback into her bones and Greg moved into her flat to take care of her and Grably (her attention-seeking cat). He also took over the blog when she became too sick to write.

The Grief Garden Path, by Julie New

We are delighted to promote Julie's book as the GOOD GRIEF chosen read for 2020, a year like no other.

Julie has written this insightful and heartfelt book from a powerful place. A place that has a true depth of understanding, derived from her lived experience and empathy for those who are affected by the death of someone they love.

She offers hope, guidance and a unique way of encouraging us to think about our ‘garden’, our ‘life’, that she believes needs tending with care and regular watering. It is a simple, effective analogy that helps illustrate the importance of self-care when going through a life changing ordeal, such as a bereavement.

We often lose sight of ourselves when we are grieving, so it is vital we find a way to nurture our soul.

Thank you to Julie for donating £1 to The Good Grief Trust for every book sold.

Grief Works, by Julia Samuel MBE

Julia Samuel MBE is a psychotherapist specialising in grief, who has spent the last twenty-five years working with bereaved families. She has worked both in private practice and in the NHS at St Mary’s Hospital Paddington where she pioneered the role of maternity and paediatric psychotherapist. In 1994 she worked to launch and establish Child Bereavement UK as its Founder Patron, where she continues to play a central role. Julia was awarded an MBE in the 2015 New Year’s Honours list for services to bereaved children. Grief Works is her first book.

"Death is the last great taboo, and its consequence, grief, is profoundly misunderstood"

‘Grief Works’ is a compassionate book demonstrating how an examined death is as important as an examined life. It shows us through vivid case studies, that when we face our fears: the death of someone we love, our own death or being with bereaved friends, we are paradoxically, better able to cope with them.

Read more; Grief Works

Books that may be useful

  • The Grief Garden Path

    Julie has written this insightful and heartfelt book from a powerful place. A place that has a true depth of understanding, derived from her lived experience and empathy for those who are affected by the death of someone they love. She offers hope, guidance and a unique way of encouraging us to think about our ‘garden’, our ‘life’, that she believes needs tending with care and regular watering.

    Thank you to Julie for donating £1 to The Good Grief Trust for every book sold.

  • I’m Fine, Thanks

    A heart-wrenching journey of love, grief and redemption. Chris and Anne are enjoying a loving marriage in the prime of their lives when Anne is diagnosed with a rare and fatal genetic disease. For ten years, Chris and Anne endure this terrible secret alone.

    After Anne’s death, Chris, ravaged by crippling grief, realises that his survival depends upon him ridding himself of his stiff upper lip. He must learn to open his heart and cry.

    Saved from the depths of misery by life-saving therapy, he discovers a life beyond despair, rekindles his lapsed faith and finds love again.

  • Losing a son to suicide: A poetic journey through grief

    Simply losing a child would have been difficult enough, but once you add suicide tothe equation it can almost seem insurmountable. But it is possible to weather this storm and learn to live again.

  • Not That Kind of Love

    A year after the death of his beloved sister, Wise talks about caring for Clare in her last days, and the blog, now a book, they wrote together

  • After You

    Letters of Love, and Loss, to a Husband and Father by Natascha McElhone

  • Love Will Never Die: Helping children through bereavement

    Clare Shaw- Using direct but child-friendly language, it addresses the mixed emotions felt by a child during times of bereavement and offers support and understanding.

  • Inside Grief

    Rowan Williams-This book is hardly a preparation for grief – how could it be. But it is a helpful insight into what grief looks like from inside. That knowledge alone will help you avoid delivering the kind of crass statement, insensitive comment and crushing platitude that – even with the best intention, invariably only makes things worse.

  • Death, I Miss You (A First Look At)

    Pat Thomas- This reassuring picture book explores the difficult issue of death for young children. Children’s feelings and questions about this sensitive subject are looked at in a simple but realistic way.

  • Badger’s Parting Gift

    Susan Varley- Badger is old and knows he will soon die.  He tries to prepare his friends and family by giving them lots of wise words, which also helps them deal with their grief when he does die

  • Are You Sad Little Bear?

    Rachel Rivett- a beautifully written little book to help explain the death of a grandparent to young children

  • Always and Forever

    Alan Durant-a book written to explain death to young children delicately and sensitively

  • Grief Diaries: How to Help the Newly Bereaved

    Linda Cheldelin Fell-a guide full of useful tips to answer questions about what to say, what to do, and what not to say to someone facing loss.

  • The Grief Survival Guide: How to navigate loss and all that comes with it

    Jeff Brazier-provides guidance and advice to the bereaved from personal experience

  • Out of the Darkness

    Coping With and Recovering From the Death of a Child: Hope, Help, and Healing Resources for Bereaved Parents and Anyone Touched by the Loss of a Child

  • The Art of Dying

    Peter Fenwick-“A new book to help the dying, their loved ones and their health care workers better understand the dying process and to come to terms with death itself.” Amazon

  • Shattered:Surviving the death of a child

    Gary Roe-“In Shattered, Gary Roe utilizes the stories and journeys of many bereaved parents to walk the reader from shock to hope. Gary is no stranger to the reality of grief and utilizes his unique empathy and understanding gained though a lifetime of working with the bereaved to create a truly healing book.” -Glen Lord, President/CEO, The Grief Toolbox; President, National Board of Directors, The Compassionate Friends, father of Noah Thomas Emory Lord, who died at age 4½

  • Carrying the Elephant: A Memoir of Love and Loss

    Michael Rosen-a collection of poems about his life, including around the time of death of his 18 year old son. He records all events with painful honesty

  • Thriving After the Death of a Child

    Cathy Cheshire-written after the death of her child, she wants to show how she has survived her trauma and gone on to live life to the fullest. She has gone on to not only survive but thrive

  • The Only Way is Through

    Dr Gail Gross-A guide to help the bereaved live again

  • Resilient Grieving: Finding Strength and Embracing Life After a Loss That Changes Everything

    Lucy Hone-“This book aims to help you relearn your world . . . to help you navigate the grieving process as best you can–without hiding from your feelings or denying the reality, or significance, of your loss.”

  • The Other side of Sadness

    George Bonnano- examines how our inborn emotions,anger and denial, but also relief and joy,help us deal effectively with loss. And grieving goes beyond mere sadness: it can deepen interpersonal connections and often involves positive experiences.

  • The Last Act of Love: The Story of My Brother and His Sister

    Cathy Rentzenbrink-. Told after her brother died, aged 16. It’s a story for anyone who has ever watched someone suffer or lost someone they loved or lived through a painful time that left them forever changed. Told with boundless warmth and affection (Amazon)

  • Kadian Journal

    Thomas Harding-Beginning on the day of 14 year old Kadian’s death, and continuing to the one-year anniversary, and beyond, Kadian Journal is a record of grief in its rawest form, and of a mind in shock and questioning a strange new reality. Interspersed within the journal are fragments of memory: jewel-bright everyday moments that slowly combine to form a biography of a lost son, and a lost life.(Amazon)

  • Becky: The Heartbreaking Story of Becky Watts by Her Father Darren Galsworthy

    Darren Galsworthy-This is the heartbreaking story of the murder of 16-year-old Bristol schoolgirl Becky Watts, a personal and heartfelt account of a crime that shocked the nation in a unique way and tore a family in two.

  • Aspects of Loss-A Companion for Bereaved Parents and Their Families

    Gill Hartley- Written from the depths of experience, following the death of her 22 year old son, this book will help any journeying through bereavement and faces full-on the predicament of a culture that does not help bring grief into the open.

  • Wave: A Memoir of Life After the Tsunami

    Sonali Deraniyagala tells her story – the loss of her two boys, her husband, and her parents – without artifice or sentimentality. In the stark language of unfathomable sorrow, anger, and guilt: she struggles through the first months following the tragedy — someone always at her side to prevent her from harming herself, her whole being furiously clenched against the reality she can’t face; and then reluctantly emerging and, over the ensuing years, slowly allowing her memory to function again.

     

  • Loving Still, Loving Always

    Nita Aasen-This collection of essays illuminates the heart and soul of a mother living with loss after the simultaneous deaths of her two young adult sons, Erik and David, in a car accident on Thanksgiving Day, 1994. In order to make sense of her reality, she writes to confront her grief head-on, to question societal expectations surrounding loss by death, and to explore what would bring comfort and meaning into her radically changed life. By giving voice to the grief experience, she also encourages others to give the bereaved permission to mourn.

  • The Sarah Journals: Surviving Tragedy without God

    Ailsa Fabian-These are the diaries of an unbeliever. When 5-year-old Sarah Fabian died suddenly, her mother Ailsa had to cope without the consolation of many survivors, who hope to meet their beloved dead again. It presents emotions with a raw directness often lost in retrospective accounts and contributes to the debate about how to live and face death without religious belief.

  • Beyond Tomorrow- The essential Guide to life after bereavement

    Judy Carole Kaufmann-The period following the death of a loved one can be a time of great turmoil. This sensitive book acts as a helpful and supportive road map through the initial period of loss, and through the weeks and months that follow.

  • Aaron’s Star

    Roark McMaster- The story is written and presented in the format of an illustrated story. It is written to provide comfort and hope to parents, siblings, and families that have experienced loss. The book is written by: Daddy, for Mummy. It could be written by any Daddy for any Mummy that has been through this type of trauma. The book has space for a parent to add their child s name and commit the book to his or her memory.

  • Time Lived, without its Flow

    Denise Riley-Almost hard to read in its objective sadness over the loss of the author’s adult child. However, it is a beautifully written book that has for me, a starting and uplifting conclusion.

  • Shadow Child: A Novel

    Libby Purves-There is no right way to deal with the loss of a beloved son. Marion and Tom are doing their dignified best, but their own relationship is taking a battering.

  • See you Soon:A Mother’s Story of Drugs, Grief and Hope

    Phillipa Skinner-This book is a honest and reflective account of a mother’s story as she faces up to and lives through her son’s death from a heroin overdose in 2007. Skinner is writing for those who are bereaved, those seeking to support people who are, and also, more specifically, for people affected by addiction – whether through a family member, friend or a personal struggle.

  • Same Soul, Many Bodies

    Dr Brian Weiss-Dr Weiss demonstrates the therapeutic benefits of progression therapy to bring patients more peace, joy and healing, just as he has shown that journeys into our past lives can cure physical or emotional wounds in the present.

  • Life Touches Life: A Mother’s Story of Stillbirth and Healing

    Lorraine Ash-Ash discusses the inner changes she faced after the stillbirth of her daughter and delves into spiritual questions that shook her soul. The final message: Epiphanies emerge from the stuff of everyday experience. Hope is here.

  • Holy Innocents: Grieving for the Death of a Baby

    Margaret Sparshott- This book describes the physical and individual development of the newborn; the different stages of bereavement and how they relate to death before, during, and after birth; and ways in which bereaved parents and other members of the family may be supported by friends, and members of the different professions. Special attention is paid to the beliefs of major religions and how they view the spirituality and death of a baby and minister to the bereaved family.

  • Grief in Young Children- A Handbook for Adults

    Atle Dyregov-For years, I have strongly advised adults to read Grief in Children because I believe it is the most sympathetically written and accessible book on the topic. It is the thoughtful distillation of many years’ clinical experience of working with bereaved children and their families

  • For the Love of Julie

    Ann Ming-In this incredible and moving memoir, a mother tells of her fight for justice to convict her daughter’s murderer for a crime that he thought could never be punished

  • Blue Nights

    Joan Didion-‘Ultimately, and unexpectedly for a book about illness and death, this is a wonderfully life affirming book.

  • Anita, a Memoir

    Ann Dunhill-wrote this memoir ‘Anita’ in memory of the author’s beautiful eldest daughter, who tragically died at the age of 35; however, in case you may be concerned that this is a story focusing purely on illness, death and grief, then let me reassure you that this is not the case.

  • All my Puny Sorrows

    Miriam Toews-A novel following 2 sisters.  A wonderfu heart-wrenching thought-provoking book about sisters, suicide and whether life is always worth living no matter what.
    Beautifully and subtly written, Toews does not deliver the usual life-affirming pap, but the best combination of dark truth and humour.

  • A Beastly Burden

    Merel Barends-When I was a teenager, my younger brother took his own life. I never saw it coming.
    Twenty years too late, I am figuring out how I could have helped him.

  • The Cafe after the Pub after the Funeral

    Hattie Gordon- tells the compelling human story of a family in the public eye and how they came to terms with disfunctionality and loss following the suicide death of her 24 year old brother

  • Do they have bad days in heaven? Surviving the Suicide Loss of a Sibling

    Michelle Lynn Gust-did a fantastic job in her self-help publication intended for the sibling survivors of suicide.

  • An Empty Chair: Living in the wake of a sibling’s suicide

    Sara Swan Miller- too often, the grief and bewilderment of surviving siblings is simply ignored, leaving the bereaved siblings feeling even more abandoned. The accounts of siblings’ experiences in this book are based on interviews with more than thirty people from all over the United States, as well as the author’s own experience of losing a sister to suicide.

  • The Eclipse:a memoir of suicide

    Antonella Gambotto- an astonishing account of one woman’s experience of love and loss.  She wrote this book to show struggle to come to terms with the loss of her beloved brother, the shock, the desolation, the unusual recovery programme, because here is a situation nothing prepares you for.

  • History of a Suicide: my sister’s unfinished life

    Jill Bialosky-The author presents an account of her sister’s suicide, and the lifelong impact that the suicide has had on her own life and the lives of the other members of her family.

  • Tips from widows

    Jan Robinson-It is like a crib sheet of how to cope; it is as helpful to friends of widows as to the widows themselves, and it is written from experience, which is the bedrock of reliable advice

  • Thinking Out Loud: Love, Grief and Being Mum and Dad

    Rio Ferdinand-after the sudden and tragic loss of his wife Rebecca to cancer. Written to help others through their grief, he shares, openly and honestly, the hard journey he’s on with his three young children and the support and advice that’s getting them through.

  • Waterbugs and Butterflies: explaining death to young children

    Doris Stickney- this book will help you find the right words…a caring thought…a comforting reflection to communicate compassion in extraordinary ways.

The Compassionate Friends Postal Lending Library

The Compassionate Friends Postal Lending Library is for bereaved parents, their families and those who seek to help them
Visit their website for access to over 1000 books on bereavement;
Compassionate Friends Library